Now trading on Robinhood Chain

$CHONKS ▲

A very large cat. A very small tie. The internet's favourite unit, now trading at scale. Zero utility, maximum mass. Stay chonky.

BUY $CHONKS ▲ VIEW CHART
Chonks — a very large cat wearing a plaid tie
Absolute Unit

A letter from the Chairman

Dear shareholder,

Others chase narratives. We chase nothing. Chasing burns calories, and calories are a treasury asset. While lesser coins sprint after every trend, $CHONKS sits perfectly still, appreciating in both market cap and mass. This is the weight of greatness, and we carry it in the belly.

Our strategy is simple: be an absolute unit, wear the tie, do not explain. Small caps come and go. Chonks only grows. Analysts have described our fundamentals as "a heckin' big boi" and we do not disagree.

We look forward to a large year. Stay chonky.

Chonks CHAIRMAN & CHIEF EXECUTIVE CHONK — AN ICON OF MASS
Chonks at the dinner table refusing a salad
Fig 1. — The Chairman declining the salad course. Motion carried.
Financial Statements

Chonkonomics ▲

1,000,000,000
Total Supply
One billion $CHONKS. Like the Chairman himself, the supply is fixed, round, and impossible to ignore.
0% / 0%
Buy / Sell Tax
The chonk does not tax. The chonk simply exists at scale. Built like success.
100%
LP Burned
Liquidity locked away forever. Unlike the treat cupboard.
0
VC Allocation
The Chairman takes no meetings with venture capital. Or the vet.
Acquisition Procedure

How to acquire $CHONKS

Get a wallet

Install a Robinhood Chain-compatible wallet. MetaMask works fine. The Chairman does not carry a wallet; the Chairman is carried.

Bridge to Robinhood Chain

Move ETH onto Robinhood Chain via the official bridge. Funds arrive faster than a cat hearing a tin open.

Swap for $CHONKS

Paste the contract address into the launchpad and swap. Slippage is a lifestyle the Chairman endorses.

Hold. Sit. Stay chonky.

You now hold $CHONKS. Do what the Chairman does best: absolutely nothing, magnificently, at considerable scale.

Annual Report — Photography

Quarterly highlights

Chonks giving a thumbs up in front of a rising chart
Q1 — Earnings call
Chonks in a smoking jacket outside the estate
Q2 — Shareholder retreat
Chonks in the Matrix stopping bullets
Q3 — Risk management
Chonks ascending through golden clouds
Q4 — Guidance raised
Strategy Document

The business plan

Phase 01 — Complete

A fine boi

  • Achieve significant mass
  • Acquire tie
  • Perfect the unimpressed stare
  • Deploy on Robinhood Chain
Phase 02 — In Progress

He chomnk

  • 1,000 chonky holders of record
  • CoinGecko & DEXScreener listings
  • Meme production at industrial scale
  • Second dinner initiative
Phase 03 — Guidance

OH LAWD HE COMIN

  • CEX listings feel the gravitational pull
  • $CHONKS merch: ties for chonky cats
  • The Chairman remains seated
  • The weight of greatness, fully realised

STAY CHONKY.

— The Chairman. An icon of mass. The internet's favourite unit.

CONTRACT COPIED ▲